White Christmas Trees

I check the clock on my computer, I've still got forty minutes before home-time. My foot shakes rapidly and I chew and re-chew a tiny piece of grape. I'm anxious and jumpy because I've just allowed myself to frame a poster of the Joker from The Dark Knight and now I must have it. This was an internal debate for two days - is it tacky, or is it so cool that it took me 2 years to think of? Now that I've decided it's the latter, I have to get out of here. How can I concentrate until I own it and have it on my wall? I can't be expected to be at my best until I can compare prices and sizes of frames. Naturally, I leave work thirty five minutes early.

I pick out a frame and find the poster at Walmart. It takes no time, I have the poster number memorized. They are finally safe in my cart. I feel like bear who has just rescued her cubs to safety. I can relax and look around.

My heart rate accelerates as I steer into the seasonal section. Christmas trees. Christmas decorations in every colour. I hear myself saying 'ZOMG' in my head but I am too excited to self-loathe. I contemplate the different varieties of Christmas trees for about half an hour before I text a couple of friends and reach out for help:

Are white trees stupid or are they haute couture?

Nearly an hour passes. I am confused by the idea that although I'm fairly certain I have an extreme opinion on white trees, I don't know whether it is that I love or hate them. I had the same struggle a few days ago, why don't I know what I like? I realize that it happens all the time. I think trends are ugly until I see them on a well put together girl at the mall who I decide that I need to become. I buy everything she's wearing and expect my life to be complete.

My text message replies don't make my decision for me. Self reflection is forgotten today and the cheapest green tree joins Heath Ledger in my cart.